All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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