remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
