I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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