I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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