Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I will die if light touches me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize