yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
