I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
