just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
