I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
