i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's a Shit stain on my heart
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
