There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize