I wish my penis had an off switch
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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