Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
