how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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