I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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