even my farts smell like vagina
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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