dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
