You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
