You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize