My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
