good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
