do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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