it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
