we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
