Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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