It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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