when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
