Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
