I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
