just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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