I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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