You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
zippers are such a cool invention
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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