Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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