Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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