Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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