My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
