Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
