I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
