I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
