White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
