I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Girls should come with a carfax report
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
