I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
