that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
