Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
