I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
