this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
