so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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