She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
