I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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