Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
