Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
