Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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