Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Bring me that man meat
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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