don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
