I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
