in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
