I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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