well I can't set my house on fire every night
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
