Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
