Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize