I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
