Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize