I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
