Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
