so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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