I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
