Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need to stop coming to work sober
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
